Our first bed when we got married was a hand-me-down that used to be in a guest room at Karl’s grandmother’s house. It was a full-size frame and mattress that was just perfect for our two-bedroom apartment in the married student housing at the university we were attending. When the mattresses were first purchased, they were at the higher end of price and value and were still fairly comfortable. (As newlyweds, they served our active needs quite well. BIG SMILE!)
As the years went by and our bedroom activity continued (not too mention the addition of some weight), they began to deteriorate. When we got ready to purchase new ones, we decided it was time to upgrade both in quality and size. Karl had the idea that if we could we should go with king size. Bigger is always better, right? Due to constraints of the budget and the size of the room where we lived at that time, we had to settle for just a queen size.
While this did help us not be as crowded while sleeping, we still were near enough that during the night we were able to touch each other and to cuddle up to each other. Of course, an added benefit was that as we felt each other, it did lead to some great middle-of-the-night sexual activity. But, didn’t we need a bigger size?
The first time we went away for the weekend to a hotel with a king-size bed, we discovered our answer. While there was much more romping room, we found that if we felt the need to feel each other’s skin during the night, we nearly had to go on an expedition to a foreign country to find each other and it almost seemed like we were not even in the same bed. We have to say that aside from the additional room for sexual activity, we really did not like it. Now, when given the option, we will choose a room with two queen-size beds, rather than one king.
Without knowing it, we have realized what other couples have: sleeping close together and having regular touch while sleeping is actually part of marital satisfaction. According to a recent British poll of 1,000 couples (links to articles below), those couples who claimed to sleep less than one inch apart from each other reported an 86% satisfaction with their relationship versus only 66% satisfaction when the reported sleeping distance was 30 inches or more.
Our recommendation for your Unashamed Marriage: keep your bed small. Choose a size that keeps you touching as much as possible!
MAKE IT REAL
1) See how many sexual positions you can utilize in the space of a twin-size mattress.
2) Cuddle more often away from the bed. It releases health producing oxytocin.
Do you believe that? Do you believe that sex makes you stupid? Well, it depends on which side you’re looking at it from. If you’re single and making the circuits then yes, sex makes you stupid. Hear me out, I’m not downing single people here. Love them. Not making a moral judgment here about sex before marriage, although I could, but it’s a simple physiological reality. Sex blinds you to the faults of your partner. Proven fact. This is why single without commitment (think wedding vows) ends up in a lot of broken hearts. Girls are giving it all to a guy thinking he’s the one and they can’t see what a jerk he is because sex covers up faults.
Looking at it from the side of a passionate unashamed marriage, sex is the glue that helps keep you together. Why? Because it does what God intended it to – minimize your spouse’s faults.
You have the commitment. You have the assurance of not being abandoned and now you have the sex (yes, you should and regularly) that helps to minimize the faults and flaws that we all have because we are all human.
So if you’re single and getting your heart broken every time things don’t pan out with your latest flame, then yes, sex makes you stupid. But if you’re married and it minimizes your faults, sex holds you together. Don’t believe me? Just try having an argument with your spouse – both of you naked.