If you’re thinking about a Disney fairy tale where it’s “destiny” that the main characters meet and manage to defeat the evil villain while falling in love and living happily ever after, then this blog post might not be for you. The destiny I’m talking about is that purposeful part of a marriage that determines the course of the relationship over time. Here’s what destiny has done for my marriage, and I’m looking forward to even more!
1. Destiny sets the boundaries. Because my husband and I believed, from the beginning, that marriage was something to be enjoyed, something to make us stronger, and something that must never be broken; divorce has not been an option for us. Again, we’re not talking about fairy tale denial where we think relationship problems
could never happen to us because we’ve certainly had our share of struggles through the years. The difference is that we believed there was a purpose to our marriage, that together we could do something that neither of us could have done on our own. The boundaries were clear. Find a way to work things out. Don’t get up.
2. True love is a choice, not just a feel good moment. Believing that our marriage had a purpose, a destiny to accomplish something great immediately and over time, motivated me to continue to choose to love my husband. He’s amazing and not hard to love at all, but we’re all human and have our moments. So knowing that our marriage is much more than just this one little dip in a low place once in a while, that it is so much, helps me to make the right choice to love and build up the relationship, instead of doing it harm.
3. Destiny gives longevity. Longevity gives rich experiences. Rich experiences give greater depth and meaning to intimacy. Or you could put it another way – sex is great when you’re building on a long relationship of shared experiences. You understand how you’ve grown over the years and yet are still the person your spouse fell in love with. You “get” your spouse’s jokes. Honestly, a little bit of humor goes a long way in foreplay. That “bedroom laugh” is a good sign that sex is going to be great. No comedian wants to work with limited material. But destiny gives longevity to a marriage – meaning plenty of material to bring up in that perfect moment to clench the “bedroom laugh” and enrich intimacy.
I believe our marriage is for a purpose, both now and in the future. I’m investing in it daily and receiving rich rewards. It truly sets the tone for our relationship over time. At almost 24 years of marriage, we’re looking forward to the rich experiences destiny will continue to bring to our relationship – and more of those bedroom laughs!